You’re ready to ask this lovely lady for a dance and finally work up the courage to ask her. As you walk closer your heart starts beating faster and a bead of sweat runs down your temple. The room is not crowded and everyone can see you walking towards her a mile away.
All eyes are on you.
Closer and closer to the promise land; you come.
Do you want to dance?
NO!
My goodness, she said it so loud. The music stops and every head turns to look at the occurrence. The dj stops spinning and stares as everyone in glances and quickly looks away not wanting to deepen you pain and humiliation. Your mind starts spinning and you do the only that pops in your head.
“Do you want to dance?” You ask again
“Nooo! I don’t want to dance “ she responds.
A woman’s gasp is heard throughout the room. You hold back a tear and glance at one of her friends sitting at her table and ask one of them for a dance. A guy sitting at the next table shakes his head as you let out a deep sigh.
You broke one of the cardinal rules in salsa. If a girl powerfully rejects you, never ask her friend for a dance if she was sitting right next to her.
Slowly you walk back to your friends who were witnessing everything.
Glancing slightly to your left you notice one of your co-workers at another table watching this whole episode transpire. A dedication of a Marc Anthony song is announced by the dj for the dude who just got turned down as the bartender hands you a napkin to wipe away your tear.
You try to blend in seamlessly with your friends, trying to shield neither yourself as you nor your head and sway to the music. Hoping, praying it didn’t look so bad and everyone will forget this incident ever happened.
Can I hear an Amen? Brothers
We’ve all been there and could the feel pain this guy just went through. Some nights are great and some, well, you know.
What to do, what to do. I don’t know if there really is an answer. In life you have to take the good and the bad but we could look at ways to minimize this occurrence. It should make your salsa experience more joyful to get a positive response.
Let’s look at this situation and come up with a couple of ways to deal with rejection because we know some guys could be totally devastated, leave salsa and never come back.
I was in a salsa club in New York and when I first got in I asked a girl to dance and she said no. No big deal, I ask another and another. Around six girls in a row and rejected by all of them and they weren’t nice about it. I told my friends let’s go to another club, tonight looks whacked in here.
They wanted to stay so I went to the bar and got a drink. Sitting there by myself and feeling totally discouraged I step outside for a breath of fresh air. Thirty minutes later something started growing inside me. I started fighting back my emotions, I started to remember the pep talks I would give others and started applying it to myself.
This is my night, it’s beautiful outside, I’m strong and healthy and I should be grateful for this alone. Life is beautiful and there are wonderful people in there who want to dance and perhaps meet someone special.
Get up kid, get up. I siked myself and went back into the battle. The night is not over yet and darn it, I’m going to have a good time. Nobody is going to take away my joy tonight.
I went back in and didn’t even think about it or stand for a while listening to the music. I just took hold of the first girl I saw and took her to the dance floor. She told me I don’t want to dance and I smiled at her and held her hand gently and tried to sway her to the dance floor. Sometimes you have to give them a nudge.
Usually, I’ll throw everything in the book if it’s a girl I really want to dance with if she says no but I let her go. The night is young and there are too many ladies to get hung up on just one.
I turned around and slightly touched the hands and shoulder of the girl next to me and without a word guided her to the dance floor.
I ended up dancing the whole night and had a good time. It wasn’t the best night but it wasn’t a total disaster either. One of the girls who rejected me powerfully, just sat and watched as I took her friend to the floor and busted out my moves.
From the corner of my eye I saw her stare at the kid. If I let my emotions dominate me, it would have been bad.
Sometimes you have to keep going; don’t give up because it’s not just about dancing and meeting people of the opposite sex. It’s about life. Don’t give up because people say no. We can get discouraged and weak but we must fight through it.
We must fight because greatness could be right around the corner and we can let it slip away if we stop believing too soon.
Remember, it’s my night and it shall not be taken away.
This is just one of the manners to deal with it but there are so many. It could be your night or perhaps you may want to put a smile in someone’s face. Whatever it is, share your view. How do you usually deal with it?
Also, it’s always great to hear a women’s point of view.