You ever dance with a girl/guy in salsa class and she goes and tells the instructor, you did something she didn’t like. Sometimes you feel like your back in grammar school with kids ratting on you. I’m sure we’ve been there in our salsa world.
How should we deal with this? Sometimes the instructor or another student tells you what just occurred. You are totally oblivious to this and never even realized what happened.
I thought she was having a good time and was enjoying the practice we were doing together. Now I have the instructor and some other student who has commented on this. You know it came from the source because nobody except you two have discussed or were involved.
I had this misunderstanding happen to me a couple of times. Also, it could have been something I said which may have stuck a nerve with someone. Hey, it happens, especially if you are around each other a lot.
I don’t want to make excuses if I may have come across insensitive a few times, I sure it’s true but all I ask is don’t judge my whole character by a colorful remark. Don’t write me off because of a past experience or someone you know had a negative experience. What I’m saying is we sometimes say or do the wrong things.
If you’re hanging around with a group, you’re going to notice the character of some and the way they behave. Some may be pleasing and delightful and others may come across on the border line of annoying.
One thing about salsa, you are always meeting new people, either in class, clubs, students bringing new friends, etc. Therefore, you must learn to socialize with others and try to take their feelings into consideration.
The salsa scene is mature and people in general treat you much more kindly than other places of dance. Over all we get along but not all the times, especially if there is a misunderstanding that is not corrected.
I’ll give you an example of an incident. We have a new student in class and after the first couple of songs she got a little tired. Her ankles were sore because she had an accident a few months ago. I suggested she should have it looked at and perhaps a little therapy to work it out.
Now, I said part of this while we were dancing and when we sat down. The music is blasting and we can’t hear well but we try to make a conversation. To make a long story short, she tells this to the instructor. However, she says I told her she should go to the gym and workout. She believed I said it so she could lose weight and get in better shape.
I only told her to get the help she needed for her ankle to heal better. I’m not sure how she thought I mentioned her to go to a gym but thinking about it she may have took my wording the other way. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have said the word workout. She may have thought of it as something else. Good therapy for the ankle will help it heal quicker.
Perhaps, there would have been no misunderstanding if I said it in this manner but I didn’t and I can’t take it back. This is a misunderstanding and I don’t want her to have some bad feeling towards me.
Several feelings could run through you at first and you may take it personal. I thought we were have a good time and this is what she was thinking all the time we were together. Well, I never been so insulted in my life and if she had a problem with something, she should come and say it right to my face.
Thank goodness, I never felt this way. I’m what you call a kind salsero, a compassionate one, you know…perfect.
As I was saying, there are so many ways you can deal with this. However, you must be wise because you will see this person in many social events and after all, she is in your salsa class. It’s not as if you’re not going to see her again. Actually before you speak, it’s your turn to dance with her on the salsa line. You must hold her closely and look into her eyes for the next hour or two.
We are in a pickle this time. I say if it’s a misunderstanding, you should talk to her like an adult. Approach her with a smile and let her know it was a misunderstanding. Tell her what you really meant. Don’t make a big fuss out of it, just do it and right afterwards, extend your hand and ask her to dance. Show her there are no hard feelings.
There are some people who will take a weight issue or many other issues to heart and hold something against you. I’m not saying they are right but it happens. I know a salsero who didn’t dance with a girl because she would giggle when he first started dancing with her.
He didn’t dance with her for a whole year and the truth is she wasn’t giggling at him because he was a beginner, she was just nervous and that is the way she deals with it. The reason why she felt nervously, I’m not sure, maybe she liked him.
The point is, it was a misunderstanding and if it’s something which can affect the relationship with a fellow salsero, it would be wise to address it.
Keep it light, have fun and remember, don’t make enemies where you don’t have any.